Depression and Homesickness

So. I don’t know how I feel about being here in the UK. Now wait I do think, the UK is awesome, so is the school, but its just. BLAH! I have no money, no way to go out and about. I have no internet, and I am just in my room because some of the people here annoy me. I am rooming with all freshmen, its VERY loud, annoying and just blah!! They are immature and it is driving me insane. Some of them are kind, but others are just icy. I feel somewhat like an outcast like I did in high school. It is funny, you would think that they would act right when they go to uni.. but its like the petty high school drama follows them. It would be fine, if it didn't take up so much time. It is exhausting.

I miss home. I miss my friends, my family, everything. There I would be bored, but I could get online, I could call someone to hang out. Here, no phone, not internet. So the ONLY way I can go out anywhere is finding the person. It is getting a little old just sitting in my room doing nothing. I am paying out the ass for this place and I am stuck in my room.

The Americans are annoying me to no end, save a couple, and of course my friend SaBrandi… She is pretty sweet, and cool.
I ask to hang out, tell them to come and grab me if they want to hang, and nope, they go get other people. I get my hopes up, that yay I can finally go out, and boom.. nope.. they got someone else. I was invited to go out tonight, for this girls birthday, but I have no money, and so what fun would it be to just go out and not be able to drink?? Yes I could see some people, but it is pointless.

I met two gay guys so far they seem cool, but idk if I could bring myself to date them. I mean, they are cute yes, but I don’t really know them and I am scared..I just don’t know how to act around them., do I be myself? Do I just act like I don’t notice them? I don’t even know how to act like myself, this façade is getting old, chipping away until it finally decays, but will I like what I finally see?… what if I fall for them… what then?? I kid saying how I want to get citizenship here, but that is next to impossible and plus I just don’t want to do that to my mom. I know it would be better for me but I just don’t think I could emotionally handle it right now plus she would be devastated. I just want a day to myself, but then I get lonely and then depressed. It just sucks and I just don’t know anymore. I know I made the right choice in places, it is just boring….. and lonely despite having SaBrandi here, I feel more alone than I have in a long time..

I do not even know how to act around some of these people.
I am told, just be yourself, but I don't even know who that is. I have acted how society has wanted me to since I came out of the closet, now that I really have this chance to really find myself I cannot seem to do it.. I am too scared.

Oh well. enough of my crybaby drama.. England is still amazing, but I needed to vent.

Problems in Paradise

1/14/12

So, as there was a problem here.

It got sorted and everything is fine now, but I only found out from another student who was here before.
I was under the impression that when we got to the university, we would get our uni-cards, our Student ID’s, that would act as out meal cards… I was wrong. We wouldn’t get them until that Monday. Okay, that is fine, it would only be four days. I had some money leftover, so I could stretch it to make it work, and by some I mean like 3 pounds.
I made it work in the end, that is for the weekend.

When I went to get my uni-card it did not work. Apparently there is a 4-day waiting period. I was livid.. I was also hungry. So I went back to my room, walked around the town, SaBrandi went with me and we ate at a small coffee shop that day, on her (I got her back, I always pay back my debts.) So it went like this for two more days, until finally I went to the Hub (cafeteria) and saw other international student in there. They were all eating and me and SaBrandi were like “???”

Apparently, all you have to do is go up to the cashier and tell them that you are an international student and they will write it off.
So we finally got our food, it is just crazy that we found out from another student and NOT someone who was in charge.. It would have been nice to know this before hand, or something.

But yes. The situation is FINALLY cleared up. When I told the people in the office about it, they were shocked, and apologized. So no harm meant, they must have thought I knew or something. Either way, it is all water under the bridge and I am better because of it.

Conwy, Wales

Okay, I have been seriously behind with this posting thing.

So here is a recap of a visit I made, with the rest of the international students at Edge Hill University.

On the first Saturday that we were on campus, we went to Conwy Wales to see the Conwy Castle. Yes I did spell it right, it is Conwy, not Conway.
It was a great experience, well it would have been amazing if one little piece of important information was told to me before we got there. There would be an admissions charge. Well yeah I suspected that, but what I wasn't told was that we would need to pay that. I was told a free trip to Conwy Castle, I assumed that meant free entry as well. I didn't know this, if I did, I would have saved for it if I was informed earlier. So I wasn't able to do a tour of the castle, but I got a free ride to Conwy. It would have been an all time high light in my books while in the UK, but since I couldn't go up I will still rank it in my top 10.

Although I will say that the liaison to the American office did offer to buy me a ticket to see the castle. I just didn't think it would have been right for me to take her up on that since I wouldn't really get the chance to pay her back. I don't like to leave debts unpaid so... Yeah, I turned it down, so no more bitching on my part about that.

The weather was pretty cold that day, but that couldn't be helped. My friend and I walked around Conwy all day and just enjoyed ourselves. We did stay in the cafe for a while, mainly because it got a little too cold at times. Still it was a great experience. I will go back and to the tour later, but as it was. A free trip, a nice experience, a beautiful city and scenic coach ride.

Hatters Hostel

January 4. 2012

Well I have been staying at Hatters Hostel for two days, and one night now. It is a great place and I highly recommend it. It is located centrally near every main attraction I can think of, at least for me. The staff were incredibly helpful, kind, and knowledgeable of the area and were just great company. There is a continental breakfast offered each morning and an activity/theme night everyday. The days I was there, it was pizza night and then pancake night.

It is about a 5 to 10 minute walk to the shopping center, as well as a 15-minute walk from the Maritime and the Tate Museum.

I met some great girls while at Hatters. We went together to the shopping center, learned some new card games and just had a blast. I highly recommend going to see The Tate Museum, and if you have the time and GBP to go on the Fab Four Cab Tour, if you get a group of people you can split the costs and it is very cheap at the end. I wish I could have gone, but I was really tired after all the airport stress.

On our first night in Liverpool we went to the Philharmonic pub, a great place. It was designed by the same person who designed the Titanic, and it really shows. There is a class, grace and sentiment it gives to you once you see it. It is truly very beautiful, we were talking to ourselves that this couldn’t be the right pub, we were scared to just touch the doorknob. It is located on Hope Street and if you are ever in the Liverpool area you have to go and see it.

Tonight a girl from Australia and I went to a Chinese restaurant called ARCH located at 45-49 Berry Street, Chinatown Liverpool. They offer sit-down dining or takeaway. The prices are really not that bad, for the amount of food, atmosphere and service. My friend and I ordered one appetizer and main course each and then once we split the bill in the end. All together we spent only 14 GBP for the dinner, drinks and the appetizers. The Chinese food was some of the best I have had in a long time.
Well I go to go to bed, I have to be up early so I can be up in time for our cab and so that I can get some sleep so I can be ready for tomorrow.

Airport Blog Part 4. Finale!

January 3, 2012

Well hello everyone. I am typing this from the train we are taking from London to Liverpool. There is no Wi-Fi available for free so I am typing this post, like all the ones in the past, on a word document.
Well we had an interesting arrival, the plane arrived early, but we had to stay up in the air for about an hour, because there wasn’t a space ready for us, which I am fine with, I would much rather be safe then rush things. We made it through the airport without incident but then when we made it to the Tube, there was a mix up and we were told the wrong train to get on. So we went in the opposite direction of where we needed to go. We then had to navigate our way through the Tube, and luckily we did it. We made it to our station, but an hour after our train left and the next one to Liverpool was leaving in just 7 minutes. We bought the tickets and ran to the train. We just made it on, sat in our seats when the train left. We got there just in the nick of time. Although the train ride is going without incidence I am kind of nervous. The intercom just announced that they will be getting our tickets and we kind of stuffed all of our suitcases and carry-ons in a pair of seats. It is an interesting sight. The pictures are now posted

Airport Blog Part 3

January 2, 2012

Well I have been at the airport for about 13 hours. We have checked our bags and everything seems to be going fine. I got sick, I think the Cinn-A-Bon was just too sweet for my stomach. I got about maybe 3 hours of sleep at baggage claim on the floor, but it was surprisingly revitalizing.

This airport is very interesting to say the least. We have been in a few smoking areas, inside the airport itself, which is just different from what I am used to. We had some Subway for dinner/lunch and it was okay. The bread was a little tough but what can be expected from airport food.

We are just waiting to board our plane, I am very excited and still a little nervous, but I think I am just going to sleep this whole flight, after dinner of course.

Airport Blog Part 2

Janurary 2, 2012.

So we have landed in Washington D.C, Dullus International Airport.
It was an amazing flight. Since there was a bit of confusion at the ticket counter we were unable to have our suitcases go directly to London Heathrow Airport, so we have a 15 hour layover with our suitcases and carry-ons, but we do get to check them in 6 hours before our flight out to London. I am not complaining I am just happy we made it, and that we were able to get these tickets. I am internally grateful for this experience and for all the people we have made it possible.

We just had a Cinn-A-Bon cinnamon bun and it was incredibly sweet. I do not know what I am going to do for the next 15 hours, but I am just happy I have my friend here with me, because she is just amazing.

Airport Part 1, The Beginning

5:00AM January 2nd.

Well we are at the airport. There was a bit of confusion at the check in, but it all got sorted out, by the amazing mom of my friend. We are just waiting at the gate.
I am so excited, but nervous. I am terrified of flying, but I know it will work out fine. Everything is out of my hands at this point.
I do not mean to sound pessimistic, that is not my intent. I am just nervous, but still very excited.
Washington D.C, here we come!

9:35AM

We have landed and everything is fine.

Since we took an earlier flight we have to wait to check in our bags.

So we have to wait about 5 hours until we can check them and go on through security. It's going to be interesting to say the least.

I am going to take a nap now though. I will post either while we are in the air or once we land.